


When Havveamania Runs Wild

by discocalypse



Category: TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Genre: Gen, Hulkamania brother, Wrestling, wwf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11685984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discocalypse/pseuds/discocalypse
Summary: Havve Hogan learns his hero isn't who he thought he was, and vows to take him down himself. Through the system.





	When Havveamania Runs Wild

It was 1988. No one had known it yet, but the end of The Rock n’ Wrestling era had just come to a close. Ushering in what was called the Golden Age of the WWF, no one seemed to mind it too much either. As if led by his single parent, Havve was experiencing the wonders of Earth for the first time. He and Sung were alone then, the wreckoning of Phobos’ planet not even a blip on their radars for the next twenty-thousand years. It was here, in this singularity, that Sung had the inkling to show his new companion just what he was all about.

An uproarious, rowdy crowd of Hulkamaniacs rose to their feet around the Wrestlefest steel cage. The Eighth Wonder of the World, Andre the Giant, lumbered around the ring foot after foot as he awaited the arrival of his opponent, the other’s music blaring across the Milwaukee County Stadium. The chorale of rancorous observers wailing that if you hurt their friends that you’d hurt their pride as well. The Hulkster’s made his way down the aisle to the ring in the balmy July air, all energy and smiles, slapping hands with anyone close enough to reach him.

“This is… Electric!” Sung shouted to Havve over the crowd. He motioned over the heads of every attendant, enthusiasm seeping into his wide grin with every yelp. “Do you see it, Havve Hogan? This is the planet I want to protect. Wouldn’t you do anything for those smiles?”

“SHUT YOUR GOD FORSAKEN CONE, WUSS ASS. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR INCESSANT CHATTER. THE LEATHER MAN IS WIGGLING THE CAGE.”

Hulk’s tanned fingers locked around the cage in a test of its integrity, eyes locking on Andre as if instructing him that he were next. The ropes quivered upon the Squared Circle in anticipation of the historic match that would be wrought upon them. Hulk Hogan stirred the crowd, craning hands to his ears. It was ridiculous, Havve Hogan thought, that the sinewy human could do anything but hear the crowd. After what seemed like ages, Hulk dove under the top rope with utmost care. He was the vision of a zookeeper, holding back sudden movements so as to not provoke a beast. But that didn’t last for long--

Meaty hands rose to Hulk’s shirt and stripped it away. He wove the red fabric like a matador before what he could reach of Andre’s face in jerking movements, using his two forefingers to issue his challenge. Andre, with a knowing and yet grim smirk, seized Hulk Hogan by the throat. The bell sounded as both men grappled.

 

…

 

The perilous war waged on for 10 minutes now, the audience never losing steam. This included Havve Hogan, and Doctor Sung in turn. Both were silent, save for the occasional cheer from Sung’s way. Hulk Hogan was able to power through anything Andre threw at him, including his manager! Using Bobby’s own weapon, Hulk fell the hunkering beast known as Andre the Giant in less than five calculated jabs. Concealing it in his trousers, he then gripped Bobby Heenan by his blonde hair. Again, Hulk motioned for the crowd to make more noise.

“WHAT? AS IF THE CROWD DID NOT SCREAM TO HIS LIKING… ARE WE TO ASSUME HE WOULD GIVE UP THE MATCH AND GO HOME?” It sounded like Havve hadn’t been fully convinced of wrestling’s magic… But he was about to be. Sung hushed the cyborg with his finger before pointing it back at the action. He was grinning ear to ear.

The Hulkster gripped Bobby next by his jacket. He assumed full control over the manager’s body as he violently rammed him back into the ropes, then propelled both of their bodies forward with a start.

“...YES.” Havve’s fingers coiled around themselves in anticipation of Hulk’s next action. There was no room left for disappointment as Bobby was given a running start, Hulk’s heels clicking together as he chucked the smaller man face first into the grated cage surrounding the ring. Bobby fell in a satisfying crumple, half his limbs tangled around the ropes. The Hulkster hadn’t even remained to watch his carnage, instead wasting no time crawling up and out of the ring unobstructed. He paused at the top, tipping an invisible hat to his fallen opponents, before disembarking the structure with ease.

His face battered and bloody, Hulk Hogan clapped once as his feet connected with the ground. He knew he’d won long before the match was even fought, but his elation was convincing enough that Havve was swayed by it. The robotic Hogan thunderously mimicked his new, ruthless hero as he rose to his feet. Sung looked on with relief… Havve had taken to the sport just as he’d foreseen it. Just as he’d had the thought, Havve seized the top of his arm in a death grip, LEDs glowing ferociously as they met his visor.

“I NEED TO MEET THAT MOTHERFUCKER. HE IS, DECIDEDLY, THAT DUDE.”

“Okay, okay!” Sung chuckled to himself, attempting to pry Havve’s fingers away. This only made him hang on tighter, threatening the bones of Sung’s vessel. “ALRIGHT, HAVVE.”

“REALLY?” The cyborg retracted his hand, tenting his fingers.

“Yeah, really. C’mon, dude. Let’s bang this out.”

 

\----

 

“Listen, Jack! I ain’t got no sweet clue how these guys made it in here, brother, but you gotta get ‘em out.”

“You’re the professional wrestler, Mr. Hogan, sir… I’m just the guy who brings the snacks.” The squirrely PA shouldered himself out of the tiny dressing room and ran full tilt down the narrow passageway under the stadium. Sung and Havve stood a little too casually in Hulk’s dressing room, Sung having dipped into the grapes Hulk requested the busy-boy to bring.

“We’ll be out of here in a hot sec, Hulkster. My boy here just wants your autograph.”

“A-Alright,” Hulk turned his body to his vanity with an agonizing slowness. He had no idea what these alien freaks were capable of, and he didn’t want to find out. He retrieved a sharpie from his desk, gasping in fright when the hunkering cyborg’s face was inches from his own. “W-Who… Who should I be makin’ this thing out to, b-brother?”

“HAVVE HOGAN.” The demand was plain, with Sung chiming in behind him. “Two v’s! He gets real pissy if you spell it wrong. Just saying.”

“Havve… Hogan…?” The Hulkster relaxed, a chuckle rattling through his chest. Just how big of a fan was this guy? “Well, brother--That’s just my name with a couple Scrabble letters turnt around.”

The lights of Havve’s eyes flared, sending another shiver down Hulk Hogan’s spine. He felt himself breaking into a cold sweat as Havve’s fingers delicately plucked the pen from Hulk’s. He took it between both his thumbs and index fingers in a gentle caress before snapping it in half. Havve tossed it at the other’s feet before pressing a finger into his chest. Hulk noticed, much to his fright, the finger laid bare over the very position of his heart. Sung began to rush to the rescue, but Havve’s free hand pressed him into a chair clear across the room.

“I WILL DESTROY YOU, PUNY, LESSER HOGAN. I WILL REMEMBER THIS DAY, AND YOU WILL COME TO RUE IT.” With his cryptic warning, Havve plucked up Sung from his seat by the collar of his jumpsuit. Dragging the time traveler from the room, he paused and turned to Hulk once more. “WRESTLEMANIA THIRTY FOU--DOCTOR SUNG, PRAY TELL THE MAN WHEN AND WHERE.”

“U-u-uhhh… N-New Orleans, at the Mercedes Benz Superdome. A-April the Eighth in 2018. It’s a Sunday--”

“IN 29 YEARS, 8 MONTHS AND 8 DAYS I WILL TURN YOUR DICK INTO PASTE,” His LEDs dimmed. “TERRY.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes... things that aren't Catquest... are worse.
> 
> This is bound to be the stupidest thing I'll ever write so it won't be getting the careful editing that Catquest deserves. I'll pump them out and present them as is when they're done because... This is so stupid. This is gonna be the stupidest. I am not proud.  
> Referenced match: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koeqWqOf7JA


End file.
